January 28, 2007
Sermon #664
Christ and Divorce
Introduction: In the recent requests for teaching ministries I was very surprised as to how many mentioned the subject of divorce. I should not have been since we have so many single, divorced members but what I did not recognize is how many married members have possibly been through a divorce earlier in their lives. According to statistics from the Barna Research group and the U.S. Census
11% of the American population is currently divorced
25% of American adults had at least one divorce during their lifetime
34% of Non-Denominational church people have had a divorce
34% of people between the ages of 33-52years have had a divorce
37% of people between the ages of 53-72years have had a divorce
18% of Seniors (above 72years) have had a divorce
There were 957,200 legal divorces in America in the year 2000
43% of first marriages end within 15years (10% in the fist 5 years)
62% of marriages which started with cohabitation (fornication) divorce within 5 years
65% of second marriages end in divorce
75% of people going through divorce leave the church!
1. Embarrassment – each side has told all their friends to get sympathy and agreement
2. Legal – they have put a restraining order on each other
3. Counseling – the Pastor knows
4. The Church institutions judgments on divorce
I. The Seeds for divorce are sown before the wedding
A. Fornication
2 Corinthians 12:19 - 21 (NKJV) 19Again,do you think that we excuse ourselves to you? We speak before God in Christ. But we do all things, beloved, for your edification. 20For I fear lest, when I come, I shall not find you such as I wish, and that I shall be found by you such as you do not wish; lest there be contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, backbitings, whisperings, conceits, tumults; 21lest, when I come again, my God will humble me among you, and I shall mourn for many who have sinned before and have not repented of the uncleanness, fornication, and lewdness which they have practiced.
ILL: Remember the statistics – 62% of marriages which start with cohabitation divorce within 5 years. It is not the marriage that God saves it is the individual.
Jeremiah 8:5 - 12 (NKJV) 5 Why has this people slidden back, Jerusalem, in a perpetual backsliding? They hold fast to deceit, They refuse to return. 6 I listened and heard, But they do not speak aright. No man repented of his wickedness, Saying, ‘What have I done?’ Everyone turned to his own course, As the horse rushes into the battle. 7 “Even the stork in the heavens Knows her appointed times; And the turtledove, the swift, and the swallow Observe the time of their coming. But My people do not know the judgment of the LORD. 8 “How can you say, ‘We are wise, And the law of the LORD is with us’? Look, the false pen of the scribe certainly works falsehood. 9 The wise men are ashamed, They are dismayed and taken. Behold, they have rejected the word of the LORD; So what wisdom do they have? 10 Therefore I will give their wives to others, And their fields to those who will inherit them; Because from the least even to the greatest Everyone is given to covetousness; From the prophet even to the priest Everyone deals falsely. 11 For they have healed the hurt of the daughter of My people slightly, Saying, ‘Peace, peace!’ When there is no peace. 12 Were they ashamed when they had committed abomination? No! They were not at all ashamed, Nor did they know how to blush. Therefore they shall fall among those who fall; In the time of their punishment They shall be cast down,” says the LORD.
Let’s look at the scripture as individuals not as the nation of Israel:
They did what they wanted to do regardless of the consequences
The rejected God’s word and His wisdom
They were not ashamed
They did not know how to blush ( be embarrassed in the sight of God)
What is God going to do?
* Take their wives (and he did not even give them a divorce paper) and give them to someone else as a wife!
* Take their prosperity and give it to someone else – believe me no one gains financially in a divorce unless it is the lawyer!
B. Unequally yoked
2 Corinthians 6:14 - 16 (NKJV) 14Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people.”
C. What about if one in the marriage is a Christian and the other is not?
1 Corinthians 7:8 - 16 (NKJV) 8But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. 12But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
If the non-Christian wants out of the marriage – let them go!
ILL: There is a difference between a contract of marriage and a covenant of marriage. God recognized the contract
II. Adultery is not a cause but a symptom
Matthew 5:31 - 32 (NKJV) 31“Furthermore it has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32But I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery.
A. God divorced Israel yet He has taken her back
Jeremiah 3:6 - 20 (NKJV) 6The LORD said also to me in the days of Josiah the king: “Have you seen what backsliding Israel has done? She has gone up on every high mountain and under every green tree, and there played the harlot. 7And I said, after she had done all these things, ‘Return to Me.’ But she did not return. And her treacherous sister Judah saw it. 8Then I saw that for all the causes for which backsliding Israel had committed adultery, I had put her away and given her a certificate of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear, but went and played the harlot also. 9So it came to pass, through her casual harlotry, that she defiled the land and committed adultery with stones and trees. 10And yet for all this her treacherous sister Judah has not turned to Me with her whole heart, but in pretense,” says the LORD. 11Then the LORD said to me, “Backsliding Israel has shown herself more righteous than treacherous Judah. 12Go and proclaim these words toward the north, and say: ‘Return, backsliding Israel,’ says the LORD; ‘I will not cause My anger to fall on you. For I am merciful,’ says the LORD; ‘I will not remain angry forever. 13 Only acknowledge your iniquity, That you have transgressed against the LORD your God, And have scattered your charms To alien deities under every green tree, And you have not obeyed My voice,’ says the LORD. 14“Return, O backsliding children,” says the LORD; “for I am married to you. I will take you, one from a city and two from a family, and I will bring you to Zion. 15And I will give you shepherds according to My heart, who will feed you with knowledge and understanding. 16“Then it shall come to pass, when you are multiplied and increased in the land in those days,” says the LORD, “that they will say no more, ‘The ark of the covenant of the LORD.’ It shall not come to mind, nor shall they remember it, nor shall they visit it, nor shall it be made anymore. 17“At that time Jerusalem shall be called The Throne of the LORD, and all the nations shall be gathered to it, to the name of the LORD, to Jerusalem. No more shall they follow the dictates of their evil hearts. 18“In those days the house of Judah shall walk with the house of Israel, and they shall come together out of the land of the north to the land that I have given as an inheritance to your fathers. 19“But I said: ‘How can I put you among the children And give you a pleasant land, A beautiful heritage of the hosts of nations?’ “And I said: ‘You shall call Me, “My Father,” And not turn away from Me.’ 20 Surely, as a wife treacherously departs from her husband, So have you dealt treacherously with Me, O house of Israel,” says the LORD.
ILL: I counseled with a couple that the wife had caught her husband in the act of adultery, yet they were reconciled and lived another 20 years together as happily married people!
B. Where did Jesus tell the woman caught in adultery to go?
John 8:1 - 11 (NKJV) 1But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2Now early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. 3Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, 4they said to Him, “Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. 5Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?” 6This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear. 7So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” 11She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”
“GO!” She could not go out and get a job – not in Jerusalem in 33AD!
“GO!” She could not go back to her lover – that would be sin!
“GO!” She could not go sell herself on the street!
“GO!” She had to “go” back to her husband!
“After the message on Sex and Self Control last week I said do not go and confess to you mate. I was questioned about that statement after the service. I told the person, “To put that on your mate to appease your conscience was not a very loving thing to do!”
C. If adultery were unpardonable?
Matthew 5:27 - 29 (NKJV) 27“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell.
ILL: If what Jesus said is true – everyone in this room and everyone watching this program should be stoned to death – if it were grounds!
ILL: I have a preacher friend. His wife had an affair with a deacon of his church. The deacon left his wife and the preacher’s wife left him. - The church throws the preacher out and kept the deacon and his new wife!
ILL: I know pastor’s who have been blackmailed by their wife for years, “I’ll leave you she tells him and if I do the church will take you out of the ministry.”
Conclusion: What should I do after a divorce?
* Don’t leave the church – you need it and we need you! (The church does not forbid people who once were unmarried but lived in sex sin, or had other problems from being members or having ministry – why should we continue to judge people because they are divorced?)
* Break the spiritual soul-ties.
James 1:1 - 8 (NKJV) 1James, a bondservant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes which are scattered abroad: Greetings. 2My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
* When you have a spiritual soul-tie (formed by sex, vows, words, tokens) you have a divided heart and it can hinder the love and affection that is being given because you are still tied to that person or event in the past. It can stop you from giving love because you only have part of a heart to give from. You can only give which you have to give!
* The Bible says:
Rev 12:11And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and they did not love their lives to the death.
You can have soul-ties from sex, rape, vows, broken marriages – Pray!
“Lord Jesus I ask you to forgive my sin and my relationship (now name it). I apply the blood you shed for me over that situation and relationship. I release my heart and spirit from any and all those soul -ties I renounce any vows I made and I make a new vow that you are my Spouse and you have 100% of my heart.”
When you leave the Cathedral – go home and sell, break, burn, or bury any thing that has a soul-tie attached to it. (Ring – piece of jewelry – document) – Something that reminds you of the soul-tie – that has an emotional attachment - get it out of your life!
