830 - The Mystery of the Four Cups Part 1

April 4, 2010
Sermon #830

Part 1

The Mystery of the Four Cups

Introduction:

On this table you see four silver cups. They are symbols of a mystery that started before the world began.

Romans 16:25 - 27 (NKJV) ²⁵Now to Him who is able to establish you according to my gospel and the preaching of Jesus Christ, according to the revelation of the mystery kept secret since the world began ²⁶but now made manifest, and by the prophetic Scriptures made known to all nations, according to the commandment of the everlasting God, for obedience to the faith— ²⁷to God, alone wise, be glory through Jesus Christ forever. Amen.

It began with the greatest thought that had ever been. The One God could become Two; He, God, could have a Bride! But because He was Holy, she had to be Holy: because He was without sin, she had to be without sin. Because God was legal, the relationship had to be legal. So there had to be:

1. Ketubah (The Marriage Contract)

1. God chose His Church – The Church did not choose Him

The Bride was selected

• The father made the arrangements

Judges 14:1 - 11 (NKJV) ¹Now Samson went down to Timnah, and saw a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines. ²So he went up and told his father and mother, saying, “I have seen a woman in Timnah of the daughters of the Philistines; now therefore, get her for me as a wife.” ³Then his father and mother said to him, “Is there no woman among the daughters of your brethren, or among all my people, that you must go and get a wife from the uncircumcised Philistines?” And Samson said to his father, “Get her for me, for she pleases me well.” ⁴But his father and mother did not know that it was of the Lord—that He was seeking an occasion to move against the Philistines. For at that time the Philistines had dominion over Israel. ⁵So Samson went down to Timnah with his father and mother, and came to the vineyards of Timnah. Now to his surprise, a young lion came roaring against him. ⁶And the Spirit of the Lord came mightily upon him, and he tore the lion apart as one would have torn apart a young goat, though he had nothing in his hand. But he did not tell his father or his mother what he had done.

⁷Then he went down and talked with the woman; and she pleased Samson well. ⁸After some time, when he returned to get her, he turned aside to see the carcass of the lion. And behold, a swarm of bees and honey were in the carcass of the lion. ⁹He took some of it in his hands and went along, eating. When he came to his father and mother, he gave some to them, and they also ate. But he did not tell them that he had taken the honey out of the carcass of the lion. ¹⁰So his father went down to the woman. And Samson gave a feast there, for young men used to do so. ¹¹And it happened, when they saw him, that they brought thirty companions to be with him.

• The Father sent a special agent

Genesis 24:1 - 4 (NKJV) ¹Now Abraham was old, well advanced in age; and the Lord had blessed Abraham in all things. ²So Abraham said to the oldest servant of his house, who ruled over all that he had, “Please, put your hand under my thigh, ³and I will make you swear by the Lord, the God of heaven and the God of the earth, that you will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell; ⁴but you shall go to my country and to my family, and take a wife for my son Isaac.”

• The Son made arrangements on his own

Genesis 29:15 - 20 (NKJV) ¹⁵Then Laban said to Jacob, “Because you are my relative, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me, what should your wages be?” ¹⁶Now Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. ¹⁷Leah’s eyes were delicate, but Rachel was beautiful of form and appearance. ¹⁸Now Jacob loved Rachel; so he said, “I will serve you seven years for Rachel your younger daughter.” ¹⁹And Laban said, “It is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to another man. Stay with me.” ²⁰So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and they seemed only a few days to him because of the love he had for her.

• The Father and the Son chose the Church

1^st Illustrated scene - The Jewish boy and girl see each other – He goes to ask the Father to bring her to him.

John 15:16 - 17 (NKJV) ¹⁶You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit, and that your fruit should remain, that whatever you ask the Father in My name He may give you. ¹⁷These things I command you, that you love one another.

B. The Jewish couple

ILL: The Rabbis say that 40 days before a boy or a girl is born, God chooses to put them together, and that it is a greater miracle than the opening of the Red Sea.

• The agreement

2^nd illustrated scene – The table with the boy, girl, and father – presentation of the ketubah ( a scroll upon which is a clearly visible cross).

• The ketubah

Romans 8:28 - 30 (NKJV) ²⁸And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. ²⁹For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. ³⁰Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.

2. Sealing of the Ketubah – First Cup – Gethsemane

1. The Bride Price

Leviticus 16:7 - 10 (NKJV) ⁷He shall take the two goats and present them before the Lord at the door of the tabernacle of meeting. ⁸Then Aaron shall cast lots for the two goats: one lot for the Lord and the other lot for the scapegoat. ⁹And Aaron shall bring the goat on which the Lord’s lot fell, and offer it as a sin offering. ¹⁰But the goat on which the lot fell to be the scapegoat shall be presented alive before the Lord, to make atonement upon it, and to let it go as the scapegoat into the wilderness.

Numbers 21:8 - 9 (NKJV) ⁸Then the Lord said to Moses, “Make a fiery serpent, and set it on a pole; and it shall be that everyone who is bitten, when he looks at it, shall live.” ⁹So Moses made a bronze serpent, and put it on a pole; and so it was, if a serpent had bitten anyone, when he looked at the bronze serpent, he lived.

John 3:14 - 15 (NKJV) ¹⁴And as Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of Man be lifted up, ¹⁵that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life.

2. Jesus agrees to become the scapegoat; He agrees to become the serpent of bronze (sin)

Matthew 26:36 - 44 (NKJV) ³⁶Then Jesus came with them to a place called Gethsemane, and said to the disciples, “Sit here while I go and pray over there.” ³⁷And He took with Him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, and He began to be sorrowful and deeply distressed. ³⁸Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch with Me.” ³⁹He went a little farther and fell on His face, and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You will.” ⁴⁰Then He came to the disciples and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “What! Could you not watch with Me one hour? ⁴¹Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” ⁴²Again, a second time, He went away and prayed, saying, “O My Father, if this cup cannot pass away from Me unless I drink it, Your will be done.” ⁴³And He came and found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy. ⁴⁴So He left them, went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words.

3^rd illustrated scene – Disciples in Gethsemane

Hebrews 5:5 - 9 (NKJV) ⁵So also Christ did not glorify Himself to become High Priest, but it was He who said to Him: “You are My Son, Today I have begotten You.” ⁶As He also says in another place: “You are a priest forever According to the order of Melchizedek”; ⁷who, in the days of His flesh, when He had offered up prayers and supplications, with vehement cries and tears to Him who was able to save Him from death, and was heard because of His godly fear, ⁸though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered. ⁹And having been perfected, He became the author of eternal salvation to all who obey Him…

Jesus could have stopped it!

ILL: Matthew 26:50 - 54 (NKJV) ⁵⁰But Jesus said to him, “Friend, why have you come?” Then they came and laid hands on Jesus and took Him. ⁵¹And suddenly, one of those who were with Jesus stretched out his hand and drew his sword, struck the servant of the high priest, and cut off his ear. ⁵²But Jesus said to him, “Put your sword in its place, for all who take the sword will perish by the sword. ⁵³Or do you think that I cannot now pray to My Father, and He will provide Me with more than twelve legions of angels? ⁵⁴How then could the Scriptures be fulfilled, that it must happen thus?”

A. Legion = 6,000 x 12 = 72,000 angels (In the Old Testament, 1 angel killed 185,000 men! He could have destroyed all the known world, but He took the cup!

3. The Price of the Ketubah – Second Cup

Pastor description of crucifixion

This is the price the Son of God paid for the Bride - Pastor lifts the second cup!

ILL: In this cup is wine mixed with water!

John 19:31 - 37 (NKJV) ³¹Therefore, because it was the Preparation Day, that the bodies should not remain on the cross on the Sabbath (for that Sabbath was a high day), the Jews asked Pilate that their legs might be broken, and that they might be taken away. ³²Then the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first and of the other who was crucified with Him. ³³But when they came to Jesus and saw that He was already dead, they did not break His legs. ³⁴But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and immediately blood and water came out. ³⁵And he who has seen has testified, and his testimony is true; and he knows that he is telling the truth, so that you may believe. ³⁶For these things were done that the Scripture should be fulfilled, “Not one of His bones shall be broken.” ³⁷And again another Scripture says, “They shall look on Him whom they pierced.”

1. The Two ascensions

John 20:14 - 17 (NKJV) ¹⁴Now when she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus. ¹⁵Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” She, supposing Him to be the gardener, said to Him, “Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away.” ¹⁶Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to Him, “Rabboni!” (which is to say, Teacher). ¹⁷Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to Me, for I have not yet ascended to My Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, ‘I am ascending to My Father and your Father, and to My God and your God.’”

2. The Secret Ascension

Hebrews 9:6 - 28 (NKJV) ⁶Now when these things had been thus prepared, the priests always went into the first part of the tabernacle, performing the services. ⁷But into the second part the high priest went alone once a year, not without blood, which he offered for himself and for the people’s sins committed in ignorance; ⁸the Holy Spirit indicating this, that the way into the Holiest of All was not yet made manifest while the first tabernacle was still standing. ⁹It was symbolic for the present time in which both gifts and sacrifices are offered which cannot make him who performed the service perfect in regard to the conscience— ¹⁰concerned only with foods and drinks, various washings, and fleshly ordinances imposed until the time of reformation.

¹¹But Christ came as High Priest of the good things to come, with the greater and more perfect tabernacle not made with hands, that is, not of this creation. ¹²Not with the blood of goats and calves, but with His own blood He entered the Most Holy Place once for all, having obtained eternal redemption. ¹³For if the blood of bulls and goats and the ashes of a heifer, sprinkling the unclean, sanctifies for the purifying of the flesh, ¹⁴how much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit offered Himself without spot to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? ¹⁵And for this reason He is the Mediator of the new covenant, by means of death, for the redemption of the transgressions under the first covenant, that those who are called may receive the promise of the eternal inheritance. ¹⁶For where there is a testament, there must also of necessity be the death of the testator. ¹⁷For a testament is in force after men are dead, since it has no power at all while the testator lives. ¹⁸Therefore not even the first covenant was dedicated without blood. ¹⁹For when Moses had spoken every precept to all the people according to the law, he took the blood of calves and goats, with water, scarlet wool, and hyssop, and sprinkled both the book itself and all the people, ²⁰saying, “This is the blood of the covenant which God has commanded you.” ²¹Then likewise he sprinkled with blood both the tabernacle and all the vessels of the ministry. ²²And according to the law almost all things are purified with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no remission.

²³Therefore it was necessary that the copies of the things in the heavens should be purified with these, but the heavenly things themselves with better sacrifices than these. ²⁴For Christ has not entered the holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God for us; ²⁵not that He should offer Himself often, as the high priest enters the Most Holy Place every year with blood of another— ²⁶He then would have had to suffer often since the foundation of the world; but now, once at the end of the ages, He has appeared to put away sin by the sacrifice of Himself. ²⁷And as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, ²⁸so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many. To those who eagerly wait for Him He will appear a second time, apart from sin, for salvation.

4^th illustrated scene - Pastor takes the cup to the Ark of the Covenant – and pours it out. Ark is under the Chupah (tent)

Luke 24:36 - 39 (NKJV) ³⁶Now as they said these things, Jesus Himself stood in the midst of them, and said to them, “Peace to you.” ³⁷But they were terrified and frightened, and supposed they had seen a spirit. ³⁸And He said to them, “Why are you troubled? And why do doubts arise in your hearts? ³⁹Behold My hands and My feet, that it is I Myself. Handle Me and see, for a spirit does not have flesh and bones as you see I have.”

5^th illustrated scene Jesus goes into the chuppah

3. The Public Ascension

Acts 1:4 - 11 (NKJV) ⁴And being assembled together with them, He commanded them not to depart from Jerusalem, but to wait for the Promise of the Father, “which,” He said, “you have heard from Me; ⁵for John truly baptized with water, but you shall be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now.” ⁶Therefore, when they had come together, they asked Him, saying, “Lord, will You at this time restore the kingdom to Israel?” ⁷And He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority.

⁸But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth.” ⁹Now when He had spoken these things, while they watched, He was taken up, and a cloud received Him out of their sight. ¹⁰And while they looked steadfastly toward heaven as He went up, behold, two men stood by them in white apparel, ¹¹who also said, “Men of Galilee, why do you stand gazing up into heaven? This same Jesus, who was taken up from you into heaven, will so come in like manner as you saw Him go into heaven.”

6^th illustrated scene – chupah fills with smoke

4. Jesus (The Groom) has returned to His Father’s House

John 14:1 - 4 (NKJV) ¹“Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. ²In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. ³And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also. ⁴And where I go you know, and the way you know.”

Conclusion:

We have four cups on the table. The first cup He took in the garden to sign the marriage contract. The second cup He took as payment for the marriage contract. There are two cups left; one upright, one turned down and hidden. We will pour the third cup next Sunday!

828 - Keeping the Passion

March 21, 2010
Sermon #828

"Keeping the Passion"

INTRODUCTION

• PASSION CREATES
  
  • Nothing in life is accomplished without passion
    
  • Nothing great is sustained without passion
    
  • Passion makes the impossible possible
    
  • Passion motivates people to pursue outrageous dreams – the moon
    
  • Passion gives you the stamina, persistence, endurance to keep on going
    
  • Turns a dream into reality
    
  • Turn average into exceptional
    
  • A scientist to seek
    
  • A doctor to create cures
    
  • An athlete to break records
    

 

• RESULT OF LACK OF PASSION
  
  • Without Passion, life becomes boring
    
  • Our work becomes meaningless, our energy ceases
    
  • Our motivation is lost, our forward momentum stills to a stop
    
  • Our tasks become monotonous – purposeless, unfulfilling
    
  • Every task deems from us greater effort than we have to give
    

 

As passion is the essential element that brings fulfillment, satisfaction, and purpose in one's life, The lack of passion makes everything seem like a task. Passion makes great tasks seam effortless, providing an unending resource of energy.

 

• JESUS SPOKE ON PASSION
  
  • "Man does not live on bread alone, but by every word that proceeds forth from the throne of God." -- You could have placed there "passion"
    
  • The word does not work without Passion "faith
    
  • Prayer does not work w/o passion –"the fervent prayer of the righteous avails much..."
    
  • Jesus was moved with compassion and healed them all...
    
  • Jesus was moved with compassion and fed the 5,000.
    
  • Jesus is moved, God is moved, the word is moved and we are moved by passion.
    

 

In Mark 4:30 one of the teachers of the law asked Jesus, "What is the most important thing in all of the word of God? Pertaining to God and the law? Jesus responded "Love God with all your heart, all of your soul and all of your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself."

 

 

 

• if we don't sever ourselves from them. and then before long, we find ourselves, dragging on the ground.
  
• As time goes by we can begin to lose our momentum, our flight, our vision, our passion. That's what we're going to talk about today…
  
• How Can we Protect ourselves from the things that rob our joy, our passion, energy, vision and purpose. "THE PASSION KILLERS"
  
• We're going to look at 7 Passion Killers. I want you to use this as a check list because God knew how your passion would be challenged. Therefore he sent His word to help you and I learn what we have to do to "keep our passion."
  

 

7 PASSION KILLERS

 

1.    AN UNBALANCED SCHEDULE

* Overworked or underworked

* You need both rest and work

* Not enough rest will exhaust your resources

* Not enough work will make lazy your resources

* Too much or too little will cause you to lose your passion

 

Psalm 127:2 -- "It's senseless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, fearing that you're going to starve to death; for God wants His loved ones to get their proper rest." … "In vain you rise up early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat—for he grants sleep to those he loves." (NIV)

 

OVERWORKED

* For some of you the problem is, you're always giving out; you're always helping, sharing, serving—you're always working—being generous. And you never take time to recharge.

 

• If you never take time to recharge, you'll be unbalanced on the ministry side, on the work side…eventually you're going to get compassion fatigue.
  
• What is compassion fatigue? You just stop caring.
  
• You don't care about God anymore
  
• You don't care about people anymore
  
• You don't care about anything anymore
  
• Why? Because you're burned out from too much work.
  

 

UNDER-WORKED

• Others of you here are the exact opposite.
  
• You're always taking in, but never giving out.
  
• You are constantly being fed: Bible studies, seminars,
  
• You don't have any part in any ministry, you don't have any mission
  
• You're not really helping anybody
  
• You're not using your life to witness or share your faith…
  

 

Ecclesiastes 2:24-26 -- ²⁴"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God. For without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? ²⁶To the man who pleases him, god gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God."

 

THERE IS AN ANSWER

 

1. Worship daily.
   
2. Befriend people who have a passion for God and the things of God.
   
3. Daily read God's word – and apply it to your life so that you can grow.
   
4. Be a part of ministry
   
5. Share your faith
   

   
    

• If you don't keep a balance in these five areas, you will inevitably lose your passion at some time or another.
  
• You're going to say, "How come I don't feel as close to God as I once did?
  

Because you're out of balance. That is the #1 reason.

 

 

2.    AN UNUSED TALENT

An unused talent will cause you to lose your passion for life, and your passion for God.

 

I Peter 4:10 -- "Each of you has been blessed with one of God's many wonderful gifts to be used in the service of others. So use your gifts well."

 

• Those gifts, talents, abilities, that God has blessed you with are not solely for your own benefit. They are also for you to bless his kingdom with and to bless other's lives with.
  
• My gifts are for your benefit, your gifts are for my benefit. Our gifts together are for God's benefit.
  
• God wants you and I to make a contribution with our lives. Not with something that we don't possess, but with that which we are. What we do possess.
  

If you don't lose your talents, you're going to lose your passion.

 

An unused talent in the Work-force

• If you're in a job right now that used 30 percent of your talent, that's going to give you a 70 percent boredom factor. You are bored because you are not using the talents God gave you.
  
• A lot of people are stuck in jobs they hate. They simply bring home the paycheck. They don't feel any purpose or self satisfaction in what they do.
  
• Many people job hunt virtually all the time. Looking for something new.
  
  • More $$ = more happiness    * Expectations of parents
    
  • Responsibility            * Expectations of spouse
    
  • Dissatisfaction
    
  • Bored / lack of purpose
    

  
  What about this thought: Finding what we love to do, and getting paid for it?
  

  
   

• God doesn't want us to waste life.
  
• He gave us life as a gift.
  
• God created you with emotions to have passion in your life. He wants you to live a passionate life.
  

 

Revelations 3:15-16 -- ¹⁵To the church of Philadelphia, I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! ¹⁶So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

 

3.    UNCONFESSED SIN

    Unconfessed sin will take out our passion and turn us from purposeful to purposeless.

    See Psalm 32.

    

• Robs us of love, joy, confidence and passion
  
• Like a virus crashes a computer, so sin crashes our human system
  
• Christ wants us to RUN TO HIM
  

 

Psalm 32:5 -- Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord." – and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

    

I John 1:9 -- If we confess our sins He can be trusted to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

 

4.    AN UNRESOLVED CONFLICT

• Conflict drains the passion right out of you
  
• You cannot control people's behavior
  
• You cannot control circumstances
  
• You can control your response in the midst of conflict
  
• You must learn how to establish within your soul a preservation for your passion
  
• 3 emotional barriers
  
  • Resentment
    
  • Jealousy
    
  • Prolonged anger
    
• Remedy: Forgiveness, let it go
  
  • You make a decision
    
  • You choose to let it go
    
  • Put it in God's hands (person/situation)
    

  
   

You must forgive, and learn how to guard your soul, guard your heart and not allow these emotions to continue to manipulate, control or effect your passion, your destiny, your purpose, or your motivation in life.

 

Job 18:4 -- Resentment destroys the fool and jealousy kills the simple. Proverbs says "Anger rests in the bosom of a fool."

 

 

5.    AN UNSUPPORTED LIFE-STYLE

• You lose passion for God spending time around people who don't have a passion for God.
  
• They will bring you down to their passion level
  
• If you mix cold liquid with Hot liquid, you get lukewarm.
  

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 -- Two are better than one…because if one falls down his friend can help him get back up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

 

• We need each other
  

 

1. UNCLEAR PURPOSE
   

• When you forget your purpose for your life, that is a sure way to kill your passion for life, and for God.
  
• When you lose your purpose you ask "why bother?"
  
• Why get up in the morning?
  
• Why put forth the effort?
  

 

Maybe you've felt like Isaiah, when he stated (Isaiah 49) "I've labored to no purpose and I've spent my strength in vain and for nothing."

 

• Passion and purpose go together
  

 

7.    AN UNDERNOURISHED SPIRIT WILL KILL YOUR PASSION

• You're going to get up tomorrow, next week, you're going to experience distractions and discouragement.
  
• You're going to have conflicts, you're going to have changes and problems and pressures.
  
• You're going to have frustrations, fear, failure, fatigue. These things are a part of life.
  
• You must intentionally nourish your spirit. "David encouraged himself in the Lord"
  
• If you don't do it nobody else is going to do it for you.
  
• If you don't take the time to do it, you are going to be effected greatly.
  
  • You won't have patience
    
  • You won't be filled with love for others
    
  • Joy in your heart, instead of contention or depression
    
  • Peace in your soul to take the place of anxiety
    
  • Wisdom needed for the day
    
  • To make your day go smoothly
    
  • You will not be efficient enough
    
  • You will not be enough
    
  • You will be overcome by pressures, depression, temptation, the soulish iniquities (weaknesses) of your own heart & character will become more evident; they will take over and reign:
    
    • Putting yourself first rather than others first
      
    • Being short tempered in stead of self controlled
      
    • Addictions: Taking that drink rather than going for a Sprite
      
    • Overeating rather than controlling your eating
      
    • Self preserving rather than self sacrificing
      
    • Counting your sacrifices rather than, a living sacrifice
      
    • Criticize rather than Encourage
      
    • Faithless vs. faithful
      
    • Agitator vs. peacemaker
      
• If you do not recognize the symptoms you could fall out of the race. Young believers and young leaders can push themselves and their teams too far, causing injury rather than growth. (example -- Merriam and track)
  

  
   

How do I do that? How do we keep plugged into God to keep our spirit strong?

1. Remember how God feels about you – how passionate God is about you!
   
2. When we forget how much God loves us, and what he's done for us, it's easier for us to blow him off.
   
3. He made you to love you. The reason you live is because God wanted to LOVE YOU.
   
4. When we are unaware of all that he has sacrificed for a relationship with us, we easily walk away.
   
5. He's so passionate about you and me that he would rather die than to ever be without us.
   
6. Then what must we do?
   
   1. Repent
      
   2. Priorities
      
   3. We worship Him daily
      
   4. Read the Bible, and apply it to our lives
      
   5. We stay connected with others with a passion. That feeds your passion.
      
   6. We become a part of ministry
      

We make appoint to share our faith with others.

827 - The Marriage Journey Part 3

March 14, 2010

Sermon #827

Part 3

The Marriage Journey

1. Tenderness in Trials
   

2. All marriages will go through trials
   

   James 1:2 - 4 (NKJV) ²My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials,  ³knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. ⁴But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 
   

   
    

   ILL: The first trial of our marriage came very quickly. I rented a cottage from a retired chaplain and his wife in Macon, GA and paid two months rent in advance. Several days after we moved in, the chaplain's wife sent a man to tell us that Mary hanging out our clothes to dry was offensive to her and would not be allowed. We had no other way to dry the washing. A week later, a lawyer came to the cottage. He had an eviction notice. It seems that only I had signed the lease. So even though they knew we were newly married, Mary and the collie puppy I had given her would not be allowed to live on the premises. The next week we were homeless and broke. I found a fishing camp on a swamp lake that had a one room shack for rent. The woman who owned it was a retired madam from a house of prostitution. She let us move in with the promise that I would pay her the next month when I got paid. The swamp had alligators, snakes, and wild cats. The nearest telephone was a mile away. Mary had to stay there while I was at the air force base. She was 18 years old, away from home for the first time, and was living next door to a woman who made beer in her bathtub, had a slot machine in her doorway, and a male friend who lived across the lake. We finally moved into a two-room shack owned by the same lady. We lived there until after the birth of our first baby.
   

   
    

   ILL: Our first home was an 8x28 ft. trailer. It had been built for the atomic bomb plant in Akin, SC. It had a thin sheet of lead inside the walls for protection against radiation. It was too heavy to be on the highway, especially on one axel attached to a Chevy coupe sitting on springs from a B-17 bomber. I had to roll it 90 miles per-hour down a hill to get enough power to make it up the next. It blew out both back tires at night with me looking at the tops of pine trees. The baby was thrown into the rear floor and Mary, my wife, passed out. We lived in that thing for four years. We became homeless again when I sold our first home to enter the ministry and moved back into what was little more than the first shack.
   

   We have been:
   

• fired and without work two times (once in radio and one time in ministry)
  
• down to the last food in the house and no money to get any
  
• had a child attempt suicide
  
• been through the death of our first grandchild
  
• Mary has had heart surgery and cancer
  
• I've been attacked, threatened, and accused of everything I can think of
  

  It is not trials that destroy a marriage but how you respond to them.
  

  
   

1. Respond slowly to perceived crises
   

   James 1:19 - 20 (NKJV) ¹⁹So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath;  ²⁰for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.
   

   
    

   ILL: Early in our marriage, (the children were still just toddlers) I came to the site where we were building a house. The babies were in the yard and no one was with them. I picked them up and carried them to Mary's mother's house. Sometime later, Mary came in with one of her girl friends. I did not ask her for an explanation but started yelling at her and calling her bad names. She yelled back and I slapped her. Her father came in and I almost got into a fight with him. Things had really escalated and I stormed away. I had not been "slow to speak or slow to wrath." It could have destroyed our marriage and our love. Then, I discovered that Mary had not left the children unattended, my mother had. After a lot of humbling and asking for forgiveness, the relationship was healed. One of the things that will strengthen a marriage and love is tenderness in trials.
   

   
    

2. Kindness is communicating that someone is valuable through our actions
   

   "Counting it all joy" is not giving someone a lecture about counting it joy. Men respond to a crisis by trying to do something to change it; women respond to a crisis by trying to cope with it.
   

   
    

3. A touch is the greatest communicator of love in a crisis
   

   Matthew 8:1 - 3 (NKJV) ¹When He had come down from the mountain, great multitudes followed Him. 
   ²And behold, a leper came and worshiped Him, saying, "Lord, if You are willing, You can make me clean."
   ³Then Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, "I am willing; be cleansed." Immediately his leprosy was cleansed.
   

• Touching
  
• Others
  
• Under
  
• Christ's
  
• Hand
  

ILL: One of the greatest things you can do in a crisis is to hold on to each other and by so doing communicate, "I am here for you."

Gary Smalley writes, "Meaningful touching outside the bedroom can light sparks in a marriage, and meaningful communication can fan the flames."

 

1. Learn to communicate
   

   Matthew 21:21 (NKJV) ²¹So Jesus answered and said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith and do not doubt, you will not only do what was done to the fig tree, but also if you say to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea,' it will be done. 
   

   
    

   ILL: What do you say to your mate – what do you say about your mate – your words can make or destroy your marriage!
   

   ILL: The man told me, "Pastor, I know I can be a hot flame - but when I get home with my wife she hoses me off with her words and I wind up a dying ember. If she would only fan my fire with some encouraging words or a tender hug when I get home, I could burn as brightly as ever."
   

   
    

   Men and Women communicate differently.
   

   ILL: Mary and I are going somewhere, I am driving. Mary says, "You are going the long way – if you turn on such and such street and go to such and such place we will get there much sooner." She still doesn't understand what I hear is "You are incompetent you cannot even drive a car in Greensboro. I don't trust you to get us there!" Now, what she thought she was saying is, "I love you and care about you so I am offering to help." –but that is not what I hear!
   

   - I have a GPS in by truck. It gives me directions in a female voice. I changed it; one woman at a time giving directions is enough!
   

   Men do not ask for solutions, they do not ask for advice – and do not want it unless asked for. That's why when a man is lost he does not want to stop and ask for directions!
   

   
    

   ILL: What a man will resist: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
   

• How can you think of buying that?
  
• There's a parking space over there, turn around.
  
• Don't put it there, it will get lost
  
• You forgot to bring it home(Mary told me to get a certain ham-I went three times and kept all three).
  
• You're driving too fast.
  
• Somebody drank from the juice bottle.
  
• Don't eat with your fingers.
  
• Those potato chips are too greasy; they're not good for you.
  
• Your shirt doesn't match your pants.
  

  ILL: What a woman will resist
  

• You shouldn't worry so much.
  
• But that is not what I said.
  
• It's not a big deal.
  
• Ok, I'm sorry, now can we forget it?
  
• But we do talk.
  
• You shouldn't feel hurt.
  
• All right I'll clean up the back yard. Does that make you happy?
  
• From now on, I will handle it.
  
• Of course I care about you.
  

ILL: Whatever you do, do not talk negatively about your spouse to someone else. A couple started counseling their friends about marriage problems, then started agreeing with them that they had the same problems with their own spouses. Guess who got the divorce!

 

1. Working to keep your garden (marriage)
   

   Psalm 128:1 - 4 (NKJV) ¹Blessed is every one who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways. ²When you eat the labor of your hands, You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you. ³Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house, your children like olive plants all around your table. ⁴Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord.
   

   Your family life, marriage, is like a garden! How do you get a garden to grow?
   

   
    

• You have to understand it – you cannot just go out and throw out a bunch of seeds
  

  ILL: Men think the more seeds the better – if something is big, extravagant, expensive, it should get a lot of love points. Men want to be successful. They believe then they will have earned love points. I told you how terrible that I am with mechanical things. Well, this week Mary's tractor would not start. I bought a new battery and put in on the tractor – it still would not start. I tested everything – I pushed, I pulled, I crawled under and found a loose connection – It started! Yes! 100 love points! No – Women give one love point per event! Women plant seeds one at a time!
  

  
   

  ILL: Love Points are hard to get and easy to lose.
  

• You have to work on the soil and give it the right fertilizer
  

  ILL: Every year Mary has me mix leaves and compost to get the soil right.
  

  
   

• You have to plant the right seed at the right season
  

  ILL: There are seasons in relationships and changes that have to adjust. Just like there are seasons in nature, there are seasons in marriage. There is the spring of young love, the heat and passion of summer love, the maturity of fall love. Mary and I have been married 57 years. I am 77 years old, and we are in the winter of our marriage – that doesn't mean its cold; its like being together by a warm fireplace, comfortable and cozy.
  

  
   

• You have to keep the weeds (anger, jealousy, bitterness, wrong words) out of it
  

  
   

• You have to honor it by harvesting when it is ripe
  

  
   

• You have to honor it by serving it as a prepared dish
  

  ILL: A hamburger or pizza is fine, but not when that's the way your marriage is presented. It should be like a romantic setting, and enjoyed slowly and beautifully.
  

 

Conclusion:

Now you will be blessed and your children blessed and fruitful as a result of a blessed marriage.