March 2, 2008
Sermon #721
The Dance
Introduction:
The first time Mary Jane and I had any relationship together was on a Halloween night when I had been elected “King” of the school. The girl who had been elected “Queen” and I were suppose to start the “Harvest Ball” with the first dance. It was our first dress up party and the queen was late – getting her pictures made. Since she wasn’t there for the dance I decided to start with the first girl who would dance with me. I asked Mary Jane and we stepped out on the dance floor. It was like we had danced together all the time. After that we would go to the movies, study the dancers, copy the dance steps and every Friday night we could be found dancing together. When I became a Baptist Minister, however, we found out that we could not dance together since it would be a sin! I remember a Baptist preacher preaching a fiery sermon, “They are dancing at Wake Forest University”! I know now however that the Bible says:
Ecclesiastes 3:1 - 4 (NKJV) 1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: 2 A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; 3 A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance;
Today I am so glad that Mary and I learned to dance – especially in the period on the 1940’s and 50’s. because there is so much in the dance that relates to marriage.
“May I have this dance?”
(Music up with Harry James, “You’ll Never Know”
Marriage begins with a covenant that is activated when two people say “I do”
Our marriage covenant with Jesus
Romans 10:5 - 13 (NKJV) 5For Moses writes about the righteousness which is of the law, “The man who does those things shall live by them.” 6But the righteousness of faith speaks in this way, “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who will ascend into heaven?’” (that is, to bring Christ down from above) 7or, “‘Who will descend into the abyss?’” (that is, to bring Christ up from the dead). 8But what does it say? “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart” (that is, the word of faith which we preach): 9that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. 10For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation. 11For the Scripture says, “Whoever believes on Him will not be put to shame.” 12For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek, for the same Lord over all is rich to all who call upon Him. 13For “whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved.”
My marriage covenant with Mary was entered into when we said “I do”
Malachi 2:13 - 16 (NKJV) 13 And this is the second thing you do: You cover the altar of the Lord with tears, With weeping and crying; So He does not regard the offering anymore, Nor receive it with goodwill from your hands. 14 Yet you say, “For what reason?” Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. 15 But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. 16 “For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence,” Says the Lord of hosts. “Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.”
A Contract is an agreement between two parties a Covenant involves a third – God! God calls marriage a Covenant!
My responsibilities on the dance floor of marriage
Love
Ephesians 5:25 - 27 (NKJV) 25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, 27that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish.
Present her
ILL; I know that Christ is presenting His Church but Christ in me is having me present her – my wife. The man’s position in the dance is to show off his lady. I make her swing and turn and dip moving her in close and out so that she can be noticed. I am to beautify her with appealing garments (without spot or wrinkle). Why did God put gold and jewels in the Garden of Eden?
Genesis 2:10 - 12 (NKJV) 10Now a river went out of Eden to water the garden, and from there it parted and became four riverheads. 11The name of the first is Pishon; it is the one which skirts the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold. 12And the gold of that land is good. Bdellium and the onyx stone are there.
(ILL: Continued) - So Adam could have them to give to Eve!
ILL; before Mary and I were married I invited her to come to Georgia where I was stationed in the Air Force and attend a ball. I bought her a ball gown, white skirt and black sequined top. At the ball it was announced (without my permission) that I would dance with another girl. The girl came out onto the dance floor wearing the identical gown I had bought for Mary. Oh how that hurt Mary, she cried and cried! I was set up! Men you are to present your wife – complement her – honor her – and no other woman!
Give her a sense of security
John 17:9 - 13 (NKJV) 9“I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me, for they are Yours. 10And all Mine are Yours, and Yours are Mine, and I am glorified in them. 11Now I am no longer in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to You. Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are. 12While I was with them in the world, I kept them in Your name. Those whom You gave Me I have kept; and none of them is lost except the son of perdition, that the Scripture might be fulfilled. 13But now I come to You, and these things I speak in the world, that they may have My joy fulfilled in themselves.
ILL: God gave Mary to me and I am to keep her as Christ keeps me!
ILL: When Mary and I dance I have to know our surroundings. I am not going to allow her to step out of the dance floor, I am not going to put her in a place of danger, she will not be crashing into a chair or table or another couple on the dance floor. She has to trust me – I have to prove myself trustworthy!
Ill: The female eagle will not mate with a male that will not catch a large stick – he might not catch a falling chick! As a husband:
I need to make sure the nest is secure
I have to provide food and shelter
I need to give her assurance that her future is secure when I am not with her
I have to know the tempo of life (the music) – the tempo of life changes with the changes in our life – before the children – while we are raising our family – now when the nest is empty – If she is to follow me I have to be aware of the change in the tempo of life!
The woman’s responsibility in the dance
Ephesians 5:17 - 24 (NKJV) 17Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit, 19speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord, 20giving thanks always for all things to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21submitting to one another in the fear of God. 22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.
Both Husband and Wife cannot be the leader – they will trip all over each other!
1 Peter 3:1 - 7 (NKJV) 1Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, 2when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. 3Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 7Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.
B. In the dance the woman has to “honor” the man
The word “honor” comes from something that is heavy or weighty. Gold is something of honor because it is heavy – to dishonor is to be lightweight or mist – unimportant!
What is not given honor cannot give love!
Matthew 6:21 (NKJV) 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
ILL: When you highly esteem something you want to take care of it – When you increase the value of your mate you it is easier to love them – the feeling of being “in love” is a reflection of your level of honor of them!
ILL; When I was a teenager I received a beautiful car – a Studebaker convertible – I was the dumb boy in the class, I was uncoordinated so was no good in sports so I was not popular – until I got that car! Each week before the dance night I would wash, polish, and spruce up that car. A teenage boy can be in love with a car and if he is he will honor it. I sure wish I had that car today. It would be worth a fortune but I sold it – why? – because I no longer honored it! What you do not honor you loose!
A man has a hard time loving a woman that does not honor him!
ILL: In the dance Mary has to honor me – that is give me weight (maybe not as much as I have now!) but it is necessary if I am to keep her in balance and not let her fall!
A women gets her identity from relationship – if she is not in relationship with her partner she does not know where she is on the dance floor
A man gets his identity from accomplishment – if he isn’t confident in what he is doing he does not give her the support she needs.
To be good dancing partners right communication is essential
Mark 11:22 - 23 (NKJV) 22So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. 23For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.
ILL: This scripture is true both positively and negatively. Whatever you say to your partner, or about your partner, and believe in your heart is what you will get!
Matthew 7:1 - 5 (NKJV) 1“Judge not, that you be not judged. 2For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. 3And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? 4Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye? 5Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
ILL: John Trent PHD “Almost without exception, our weaknesses are simply a reflection of our personality strengths being pushed to an extreme”
The man has to communicate to his partner the moves ahead of time.
The woman has to communicate to her partner her real needs
Two people – each blaming the other – will never be able to dance! When Mary and I were learning new dance steps we each caused the other to stumble but we had to apologize, laugh at our mistakes, start over and practice the routine again – soon we could catch each others tip-off and make the dance move seem natural and graceful.
How to keep the music playing
Grace
Romans 8:28 - 30 (NKJV) 28And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. 29For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. 30Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified.
ILL: God knew that I needed Mary and that she need me – without each other we could not do the dance!
Commitment
Proverbs 5:15 - 20 (NKJV) 15 Drink water from your own cistern, And running water from your own well. 16 Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, Streams of water in the streets? 17 Let them be only your own, And not for strangers with you. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, And rejoice with the wife of your youth. 19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; And always be enraptured with her love. 20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman, And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?
Acceptance
ILL: We have to accept the other for who they are not who we dream they could be! I will never be the handsome movie star winning the impossible battle; Mary will never be the glamour girl on the playboy calendar – thank God! But we have to accept who we are and who they are at each tempo of life!
Conclusion: Mary, it’s been 55 years of marriage and nearly 60 years since that first dance – shall we dance?
(Music up with Harry James #10 “I’ll Be Seeing You”)
Invitation: There is no covenant without Jesus Christ in your life, there is no marriage covenant without telling one another, “I love you!”
